Why Not All Supplements Are Created Equal (And Some Might Be Conspiracy Theories in a Bottle)

Ah, supplements. The shiny little pills and powders that promise to turn us into healthier, more energized, glowing versions of ourselves. You know the ones — "Boosts metabolism!" "Detoxifies your body!" "Unleash the secret power of a thousand suns!" But here’s the thing: not all supplements are created equal. In fact, some might be about as effective as that time you tried to convince your pet goldfish to play fetch.

So let’s dive into the weird, wild world of supplements and figure out why they’re not all as magical as they claim to be. Spoiler alert: Some of them are definitely not going to give you the body of a Greek god — unless that Greek god was known for lounging around in sweatpants.

The Great Supplement Scam: “It Does Everything… Except What You Think”

The supplement industry is like the Wild West of health and wellness. There are no rules, no standards, and everyone seems to have a slightly different version of “science.” You can walk into any store and find a shelf full of bottles promising to solve all your problems, from joint pain to brain fog to “balancing your chakras”.

But here’s the thing: just because it says “natural” and “organic” doesn’t mean it works. You wouldn’t walk into a restaurant and order a dish based on the waiter’s enthusiasm alone, right? So why do we trust a bottle that claims to be a miracle cure just because it’s got a lot of green on the label and a funky font? 🙄

The “Mystery Ingredients” Syndrome

One of the biggest red flags in the supplement world is the ever-popular mystery ingredient. These are the things that sound really impressive but, when you Google them, they either don’t exist or only have a tenuous connection to actual science.

For example, have you ever seen a bottle that promises to have “PowerZyme” or “Luminex-3000” or “Fungus Extract from the Dark Woods of Transylvania?” Well, you’re probably not going to find those miracle ingredients in the periodic table or any peer-reviewed study. It's like when a friend tells you they’ve got "the best secret to lose weight" and you’re like, “Wait, did you just say ‘intergalactic detox’?” Definitely not going to work.

The “One Size Fits All” Problem

Another major issue is that supplements rarely consider your unique biology. They’re not like the personalized skincare regimen that finally clears up your acne after a week of using it (thank you, finally, vitamin C serums). Supplements tend to follow the “one size fits all” approach — which would be great if you were a robot. But, you know, humans are a little more complicated than that.

Few people can pop a multivitamin and feel like they’ve been reborn into a world of endless energy. Most? Well, these people would massively benefit from a kinesiology session to test which supplements will actually help them.

The "What Was That Expiration Date Again?" Factor

If you’ve got a cabinet full of supplements, be honest: how many of them have expired? You know that bottle of “Instant Energy Elixir” that’s been sitting in your pantry for two years? Yeah, it’s probably doing more harm than good at this point. But there’s no way you’re tossing that £40 jar of “Miracle Cleanse,” even if you can no longer pronounce half the ingredients on the label.

The thing is, supplements do have expiration dates. And when they expire, they might as well just be colorful confetti because they’ve likely lost most of their potency. If you're still relying on something that expired in 2019, it’s time to face the harsh truth: your body isn’t getting the nutrients you paid for. Sorry, not sorry.

The “I’m Gonna Feel Like a Superhero” Letdown

We’ve all been there: You see an ad for a supplement, and the tagline sounds too good to be true. Maybe it says something like, “Take one pill a day and transform into a high-energy, mental-focusing, sleep-like-a-baby powerhouse!” So, naturally, you order it immediately, expecting to feel like you could bench press a car.

Three days in, you realize you still can’t get out of bed before 11 a.m., and your idea of an “energy boost” is half a cup of coffee and a desperate wish for superpowers. The supplement doesn’t actually do anything, except maybe give you a mild sense of regret as you stare at the empty bottle. 🙃

The “Billion-Dollar Industry” Conspiracy

If you think supplements are all sunshine and rainbows, think again. The supplement industry is, frankly, one of the biggest cash cows out there. While many companies are well-intentioned and provide legitimate products, there are plenty more that are simply cashing in on people’s desperation for a quick fix.

So many supplements get sold on the promise of transforming your life overnight — “No exercise needed!” “No healthy diet required!” — but in reality, they’re often a little more... meh. It’s like a snake oil salesman in a shiny, new bottle with a cool label. It’s basically “the best diet” you never asked for.

How to Spot a Supplement That Actually Works (Or At Least Doesn't Give You a Belly Ache)

1. Check the ingredients: If the bottle lists something you need to Google, maybe skip it. Keep it simple with ingredients you can pronounce.

2. Avoid anything promising instant results: If a supplement is claiming it’ll give you superpowers overnight, it’s probably not legit. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a healthy body.

3. Do your research: Real science-based supplements have clinical trials and real, live research behind them. It’s not enough to just trust the sparkly packaging — look for real data.

4. Don’t expect a miracle: Supplements are supposed to be part of the overall wellness picture, not the whole thing. Eating well, staying active, and getting enough sleep are still your best bet.

   
   

Conclusion: Supplements ARE NOT CREATED EQUAL

The supplement companies I work with are all independant houses that make their goodies in small batches (for fab quality control) with very pure ingrediants. Even then though, through kinesiology testing, we have to find out exactly WHICH one you need. Out of 4 fabulous vitamin C's, only one will test as the one for you. So all this wasting money buying mass produced supplements from supermarkets is a waste of time. All this buying the most heavily advertised supplements on Facebook or Instagram is mostly.....a waste of time. Book in to see a kinesiologist (and if you are in my area Wiltshire, come see me!) and find out exactly what you need and stop wasthing your time and money!